How can you charm a woman? Do they like a daily check-in phone call? Does she secretly wish you’d text her in the middle of the day for no reason but to make her smile? Do they prefer expensive dinners to home-cooked meals? Rock-hard abs? Flowers for no reason?
Identifying women’s turn-ons is complicated, because they all react differently. Some women you wish came with owner’s manuals so you knew exactly how they were wired. Luckily, I’ve done most of the legwork for you and am happy to pass this knowledge on to you.
Top 10 ways to charm a woman

1. Be aware. This means cracking open more than the sports section on the daily paper. Be up on current events and learn the difference between feelings, emotions and thoughts. Women are emotional beings and tend to think things through.
“They are attracted to men who are as smart or smarter”
They are attracted to men who are as smart or smarter than them, and your knowledge of worldly matters will demonstrate your intelligence.
2. Demonstrate humor. Women love a man who can make them laugh. Now don’t fret here if you’re not a stand-up comedian. We all have a certain type of humor. You can be dry, sarcastic, hilariously funny, quick-witted or dark. Being able to poke fun at yourself and just plain old being goofy is a turn-on for women. Keep in mind that all women are not attracted to the same type of humor, so if you don’t vibe, just walk away and try someone else.
3. Have passion. A guy who lives his life with gusto is incredibly appealing. When you speak to a woman about your life, your travels, your job, your interests, speak with passion. That passion about who you are will turn her on instantly. She will start to imagine what it will be like when you are involved with her and how passionate you will speak about her.
4. Be considerate. Pay attention to the little things and look for opportunities to make small gestures that show you care. A simple “How was your day?” and being able to listen to her when she wants to discuss something are huge. So many men forget about simple things like holding the door, paying for her valet or just thanking her for a great time last night. Women are all about a guy with manners — she is not attracted to the dope who acts like a caveman.
5. Be honest.
“Share who you are by telling her something personal”
Share who you are by telling her something personal. Maybe share one of your favorite childhood memories or some personal growth that you have been going through. Something that will show her that you are a trusting and honest person. It also shows that you are a confident but vulnerable man. Women love to see the vulnerable side of you. Note: Don’t talk about an ex in a bad way here. If you have to talk about an ex, do so in a positive manner and share what you learned and how you grew from the relationship.
6. Be flexibile. Be open to her plans but surprise her with your flexibility. Take charge and surprise her with a fun night out. Instead of being the typical guy who makes a reservation, think about how you can be the guy who listens to her and plans a great date that she did not expect. If you can pull this off, she will be open to all sorts of advances from you.
7. Be positive. If you are positive about life, it shows in your actions. I always tell men to be extra nice to waiters, bartenders and other service people. Be a courteous driver when she’s in the car. When you are in line at the movies, don’t complain. Look for the humor and try to have fun with people all around you. Be positive about everything, and she will find you to be very sexy and alluring. No one wants to be with a negative hothead.
8. Be balanced. Women love a successful, ambitious man. They love that you work hard, but if you constantly put work ahead of her she will become turned off. She will start to imagine what life with you will be like with her needs being ignored. If you are out meeting women to date, you need to balance your life between work and play. This will be a major turn-on for her.
9. Have ambition. Men who are ambitious about what they do are a turn-on to women. It doesn’t matter if you choose to be a rich stock trader or a painter, as long as you are passionate about who you are and what you do. If you don’t love what you do, find something that really turns you on. You can’t attract the woman you want with a negative ambition. Women love a man who is the best at what he does.
10. Be attentive. You are out with her for the very first time, and she tells you she loves a certain type of music. On the next date take her to a lounge that plays that type of music. It is all about paying attention to the details and working on your listening skills.

This list of 10 things will work in most cases. Keep in mind there is always the woman who you just can’t seem to please. If you happen to cross paths with this type of woman, ask yourself, “Why would I want to be with a woman who is so difficult?”
I tend to avoid the difficult, judgmental women. Knowing women’s turn-ons and putting them into practice will help you identify women who may be relationship material. You need to realize that you want to attract and turn on the women that are attracted to you on an equal level!

via [AttractandApproach.com]

Two weeks ago my aunt came to Chicago for a medical convention. She’s a nurse for the County of St. Louis specializing in HIV & STD treatment and prevention. We had dinner and as usual she had a few stories to tell. Blew my mind.

She told me the story of a 6-month-old baby who came in suffering from a major ear infection that they could not cure. Finally she asked the parents had they been tested for HIV or AIDS. The mother said no. And the father said yes, “About 20 years ago. But I was fine.” Longer story shorter he was not fine. He has been on file as HIV positive since 1986. He’s been positive for all these years and never told his girlfriends or even his wife. Twenty years.

How could someone be so cruel and careless? My aunt and I talked for a while and it finally hit me. This man at some point decided that his status would change if he chose to ignore the facts. He’s been lying to himself for all these years. Of course he has lied to countless others since, but it started with him convincing himself.

On my way home after dinner this particular story kept running through my mind. It took a while for everything to register but once it clicked it made sense to me that a great majority of us are like this. Not saying that you or I would lie about having a potentially deadly and contagious disease. But we all convince ourselves sometimes that things are different than what they really are.

The young lady at the club wearing an outfit two sizes too small… Before she left the house she had to convince herself that she looked cute. Or the punk, who’s not tough but thinks he’s a thug… He’s got to lie to himself to keep that façade convincing to those who don’t know any better.

I started thinking a lot about my own situations. One of my ex-girlfriends was cheating on me. I was in denial about it for a long time. But I caught her on the phone with another guy. Of course she lied and told me she wasn’t. Then another time I caught her male “friend” creeping over to her apartment at 11 something at night, after she was too tired to have me stay. We still talk to this day. And if I bring up either of these two situations, or any of the others, she has completely put them out of her mind. She knows that I know the truth. But she can’t accept the fact that she did something wrong in our relationship. It’s like instantly she cleansed herself of the matter by ignoring it. It never happened, in her mind.

And I’m sure that there are things deep inside my mind that I have buried. It’s easier to be something that you are not. It’s easier to be delusional. But “karma” is a mutha’. And at some point we all have to deal with the truth behind the lies that we so often live…..

Getting married is a beautiful event. A momentous occasion in one’s life. But being a serial wedding guest can wreck havoc on your wallet.

It seems that ever since graduating from college, everyone and their sister, cousin, niece…you get the point…is getting married. The year after I graduated, I attended 6 weddings. They were all of close friends…and I was even the maid of honor in one of them! But after a short review … and a couple of calls to some girlfriends, I am starting to see how this is not only breaking into our time, but also into our wallets. Now don’t get me wrong, I am nowhere near jealous, nor am I upset that I haven’t walked down that aisle yet, but I am starting to worry about my salary and being able to AFFORD even attending a wedding…

Let’s see about how much I spent on these 6 weddings. The one in which I was the maid of honor, I spent at least $500 - which included the dress, shoes, make-up and hair. Now that I think of it, I left off the parties and the presents. For the other 5, I spent at least $300. That’s accounting for presents, outfits, flights, hotel accommodations, bachelorette parties, etc.

I did a little research on the web and found that the typical wedding guest spend between $60 and $90 on a wedding gift. This price can vary depending on the length of time one has known the bride and groom.

So far, we’ve touched to surface on expense…but gifts aren’t the only thing.

For women, we usually like to look nice. You know why…don’t act like you don’t…this is the first time in a long time that we have seen ex-boyfriends, old friends, old roommates, and the list goes on. So it is extremely important to look your best.

My BFF’s estimate on her cost is as follows: “By the time I count outfit, hair, present, hotel, transportation and spending money, I would easily spend $300 and that’s a modest estimate. But I definitely don’t resent spending it. I love going to and being in weddings. It’s a really special day for my friend.”

Spoken like a true friend.

Can You and Your Ex be or become good friends after the two of you break up?

I know there has been a lot written about staying in touch with your ex after a break up. Some of it’s positive and some negative. But is it really a bad thing to remain cool with someone that has broken your heart and spirit?

I say yes. My main ex and I have been broken up for over four years. And it was messy. It took me a while to recover, but I eventually did. She’s relocated oversees to do her fashion thing, but we still remain cool.

I think it’s good. We met one night some years ago and basically became a couple from that moment. It was cool being young and in love. I had never experienced anything like it. It was great. But the negative aspect was that we didn’t know each other at all. We didn’t have a chance to become friends first, so all the baggage we had from previous relationships came with us. It took a while for our issues to come to surface. But they did.

But now we are pretty close. That took some time.

I believe that you can learn a lot about the ex’s once you are no longer together. Becoming friends can be the link to all that information that they kept from you during your relationship.

But the main negative is that we still have that physical attraction to each other. No matter who we may be dating or whatever we still have that energy between us. And we have both acted on that energy on many occasions, right or wrong.

The point of all of this is to say that I do believe that you can be friends with the ex. But you have to put limitations on the new “relationship”. These are things that need to be discussed up front. Yes easier said then done. But it can be done. Just please be realistic about the potential effect on the new relationship if you keep an ex around, period.

What do you all think……..

Let’s be real. It seems that the great majority of men from all cultures are cheaters. Could it be nature or nurture.

As a man I know that we are bombarded with images of sex everyday, everywhere. Even when watching the evening news I notice that most of the women are attractive. Can’t say that for most of the guys. Why is that? That’s just one example.

For a man it’s macho to get as many women as you can while you can. But if a woman does the same then she’s considered a host of unpleasant titles.

I often wonder if women are taught that they can’t be as free sexually as men, or if they just don’t have the desire to be. But I think that women do have the same desires. They just have to be a lot more concerned about what they do in view of the public.

This would explain why women are better cheaters then men are. It’s not socially acceptable for them to be like us, so when they do play our game they are usually better prepared to hide their dirt. Except for those women who make it known that they don’t give a s_it. We all know what we call them. But is it right?

Tell me what you all think……

The Top Ten Reasons Why Modern Dating Is Dead – and better yet, what YOU can do about it.

1. SEEKING HER APPROVAL AND ASKING HER OUT IS BAD And here’s the kicker – our entire modern dating system is set up so that you, the man, are being APPROVED OF at every juncture.

You ASK her if she wants to go out with you, you buy her stuff, you pay for her dinner, you give her compliments and at the end of the night you go in for a kiss and maybe you “get lucky”. Where in this equation are your needs being met? What are you, Chopped Liver? She’s the one that ultimately wants a commitment from you, why does she then get to choose, and shouldn’t she be “getting lucky” to have you?

What You Can Do About It: I propose that you no longer seek any sort of approval whatsoever from women. In fact you should be looking at HER critically and asking both yourself and her “Why should I be spending my time with you?” “What is it about you besides your obvious looks, that sets you apart from the multitudes of other beautiful women”. In fact, keep this in mind – there are right now more than likely thousands of beautiful women within a mile of you – RIGHT NOW. Any of those women would be LUCKY to have a happenin’ guy like YOU! Adopt that attitude right now.

2. DATING SITUATIONS CAUSE YOU TO ACT LIKE “OTHER PEOPLE” And That’s BAD! Ever been on a date that seemed more like a job interview than a good time with a cute girl? Ever play that 20 question game knowing full well you didn’t care what she said, you just wanted some action and you tried to tell her whatever she needed to hear to maybe get some? She gets up to go to the bathroom and you are thinking “Gee I hope she likes me!”

Revelation guys - it’s because the whole “frame” of dating causes you to become a different person. Chris Rock makes a joke about dating that “you don’t meet the other person, you meet their REPRESENTATIVE”. There’s just too damned much pressure here, and besides, it’s none of her business how much is in my 401k!

What You Can Do About It: Stop going on lame dates! Keep dates as informal as possible and above all avoid using personas – i.e., don’t play any roles like “successful guy”, “player”, “intellectual snob guy” hoping that’s what she’ll be into, and don’t tailor your answers to suit her, just be real. If you catch her doing it, goof on her!

3. SPENDING LOTS OF TIME PLANNING AN ELABORATE FIRST FEW DATES IS BAD Dinner, dancing, bowling, getting dressed up, this makes you look desperate. Maybe you aren’t desperate but that doesn’t matter – you LOOK desperate in her mind. If you had a busy life and a ton of other options you would not be planning this date to a tee. Nine times out of ten a woman can smell desperation on you. Unless you are a zillionaire and can whisk her off to Paris in your private jet, she’s going to think you are a chump who is just trying to impress her. And you know what – she’s right! Save the elaborate stuff for the fifth date when she already knows that you are a happenin’ guy who doesn’t need to impress her.

What You Can Do About It: Take her grocery shopping, have her tag along while you look at shoes, don’t make plans more than two days out, bring a bottle of wine, some cheap caviar and a box of saltines over to her house and watch “Sex and the City Reruns” with her on the spur of the moment. Keep it convenient, spontaneous, and keep it on your terms!

4. TRYING TO IMPRESS HER IN GENERAL IS BAD. In fact, most women will tell you it’s downright unattractive. Fancy dates, fancy cars, status symbols, bragging about your business deals, all telltale signs that you’ve got nothing going on in the PERSONALITY department and are probably very self conscious in general. Women can smell this too and the only women who respond favorably to this type of small behavior are generally manipulative sociopaths with really low self esteem.

What You Can Do About It: Relax and just be your cool self. Stop worrying about what she will think of you, instead focus on what YOU think of HER. Is she cuttin’ it? Is she worth your time? Further, don’t go too far out of your way on a date, make her come to you, do things that are convenient for you. See Number 3!

5. SPENDING LOTS OF MONEY BUYING HER ROMANTIC THINGS IS BAD This is taking 3 and 4 a step further - I know, I know, your mom told you to show up with a bouquet of roses and take her to the best restaurant, or “I’m only trying to be a gentleman.” This is NOT the prom. In reality things that seem romantic like flowers and candy just set a strong precedent that you will be SPENDING money from here on in.

She will begin to expect you to always be laying out the bread. This will cause her to not respect you as a man, you become the guy whom she hangs out with and tolerates because you buy her things, when you really want to be the guy who makes her all googly moogly and rocks her world in the sack! Also, it’s been my experience that with women of high character and self esteem, buying flowers, candies, and ‘stuff’ for her will tend to creep her out if you do it too soon or too often. It comes back to a weak attempt to try to impress her, masked in the guise of being a gentleman or nice guy.

Further, in that ironic cosmic way that the world works, having this mindset of “I need to take her to the best restaurant and spend money on her to keep her interested in me” will cause you to attract gold diggers, and you know them gold diggers ain’t messin’ with no broke…. Well, you get the point.

What You Can Do About It: Wait a long time before spending money, and the cheaper the better, give her a fun time without blasting a hole in your bank account. Make her a flower with origami, or draw her a rose on a napkin, she’ll appreciate that way more than a $5 rose anyway! Seems silly but trust me it works, when you are strolling down the street, pluck a daisy from the ground and give it to her.

When you DO finally bust a move with the flowers, candy and expensive dinners, she will really swoon and this will further cement her respect for you, and it will come from a place where again – she already knows you are a happenin’ guy and you don’t need to impress her!

6. PLANNING IN ADVANCE IS BAD And hardly ever works. Again, this sets up her approving of you and removes spontaneity. Women want to be swept off their feet, carried away by the moment, etc. How many times have you “asked” a woman out, she tells you “Call me Friday and I’ll let you know”… which of course is code for “If nothing better comes along I’ll let you buy me dinner and lots of drinks”.

Let’s face it gents, women are becoming less and less reliable when it comes to making plans in advance, especially the hotter ones. They Flake, it’s a fact of life. They have options and they need to know, or at least think that you have options too.

What You Can Do About It: Take that “Call me Friday and I’ll let you know” trick away from her and use it yourself! Keep things spontaneous – call her last minute and tell her to meet you across town at the Laundromat. If you are feeling extra cool, make a date with her and flake first. Steal her game away from her and play it back!

7. DINNER AND A MOVIE IS BAD Okay, it’s worse than bad, it just plain SUCKS! It’s a bad plan on so many levels. It’s expensive, it brings out that “REPRESENTATIVE” thing Chris Rock and I were just talking about, it’s predictable and it’s painfully boring. She will be thinking “Oh God, is he going to be like that cheesy guy last week who tried to make out with me in the movie theater?” Ouch! It’s too painful to go on, but I think you get it don’t you? Don’t you?? Phew…

What You Can Do About It: Be original, build some intrigue. HAVE FUN with her! Don’t tell her where you are going, but tell her to wear some nice jeans and sexy shoes or a little black dress and bring a bathing suit and a Rand McNally road Atlas! Oh she doesn’t have one? Well they sell them at Barnes and Noble she can pick one up on her way! Go James Bond baby, but absolutely no no no no dinner and a movie!

8. WAITING TO HAVE SEX WITH HER IS BAD Oh, I know – you are thinking if you wait a few dates, it’ll prove to her that you really aren’t just in it for the booty. Well you are wrong! This is really just a glorified way of trying to impress her and will only cause her to respect you less! You have to understand that she wants you but it’s her societally induced role to play “hard to get”, to play by “the rules” and it’s your job to crack her code and push her toward “giving it up”. This is done by attempting to have sex with her as quickly as you possibly can!

Waiting around and NOT escalating physically will actually cause her to think that you are not interested in her and will automatically banish you to the “friend zone” as a self protective mechanism for her! Her ego cannot fathom that you could be interested in her yet not make a move, so she automatically thinks you have rejected her and to keep you from ever rejecting her again she immediately stops being attracted to you!

This is very often times unconscious behavior for her that she may never be aware of. She will say to her friends “I don’t know what happened. I just stopped being interested in him for some reason… he’s a nice guy but I guess he’s not my type.” Believe me, I’ve got years of practice finding my way into the friend zone, and once you are in it, you ain’t gettin’ out!

What You Can Do About It: Learn how to properly seduce a woman, learn where the escalations are, and learn how to guide her through those escalations as quickly as possible. In other words: Bust A Move! Get Physical! Stop being a wimp. It might take you three dates to break her down, but she will respect you and trust me: She is ENJOYING resisting you.

Put yourself out there and risk being rejected and nine times out of ten you will not be. I believe in having sex with a woman as quickly as possible and will often make it happen on the first date! Further, if you are any good in the sack and you rock her world, the choice of whether to continue to see her will be all yours and completely on your terms. Not bad huh?

9. BEING ASEXUAL AND MASKING YOUR INTENT IS BAD This goes hand in hand with Number 8 and is also another weak attempt to try to impress her by being a “gentleman” or being a “nice guy”. Guys, she wants to sleep with you, oh maybe consciously it’s not a given quite yet, but because she is with you she is giving you a window of opportunity to make it happen, how long that window stays open, and how long it takes you to jump through it is up to you! I don’t know about you but I live my life as honestly as possible.

Acting as though I’m not interested in having sex with her, being nonchalant or acting “asexual” to me seems downright disingenuous! That’s not to say I walk around like a drooling hound dog, but I don’t sugarcoat my masculinity, censor my speech or act blandly asexual in hopes that she’ll respect me for my intellect and as such want to sleep with me. It just doesn’t work that way and it’s a poor, dishonest way to live your life!

What You Can Do About It: Pepper your speech with double entendres and sexy words like thrust, erect and penetrate. Describe your food as a “tiny little orgasm in every bite”. Develop a “warmly dominant” and flirtatious personality that subtly announces to women “Hey, I’m a man and you want a man don’tcha?” Touch her, learn how to properly escalate physical touching so that she knows “it’s on” and becomes excited about it.

10. NOT UNDERSTANDING THE NEW PARADIGM OF DATING AND SEDUCTION IS BAD! Yes gentleman, it’s time to take dating out of the crusty old box it’s been in for years and bring it into the new millennium! If there’s one thing that the sexual revolution taught us it’s that: WOMEN LOVE SEX JUST AS MUCH AS MEN DO, IF NOT MORE! However, we are still stuck in a world where having random sex with guys she doesn’t know has consequences for a woman. She could get pregnant, catch a disease, her friends could think she’s a slut…

It is therefore your job as a man to remove and / or work around those consequences. You have to accept that woman everywhere want sex and are dying to meet a guy who can guide them through the seduction process, and ultimately give them the mind blowing sex they want in a way that causes it to be “not their fault”. “He swept me off my feet”, “He was irresistible”, “I don’t know what came over me”… You do this by creating intrigue, not masking your intent or trying to impress her, being spontaneous, avoiding the dinner and a movie / overly planned event date and above all HAVING FUN with her!

What You Can Do About It: Think of your own unique, intrigue filled situations and go out and have yourself some fun with some women! Tune up your dating and seduction skills. GET SOME GAME!

E’s Question of the day: 

Does it bother you to think about how many sex partners your current partner has had? 

Or do you think about it at all? 

I know when you’re involved in a relationship. It can be difficult to think about your lover being with another person, much less talk about it. But with disease and so many unplanned pregnancies, I think it’s absolutely imperative that it be discussed. 

But how do you go about approaching the subject? And will you be able to handle the answer once you get it? 

My ex once told me, “Don’t ask me anything you don’t want to know the answer to.” So I asked. And honestly even though I’d had twice as many partners as she’d had I still felt kinda’ weird about it. It took a while for me to put it out of my mind. Every time she would run into an old friend when we’d be out together I’d want to know if he was one of the many. 

How do you deal with your ex being so friendly to those they use to be sexually active with? 

Please tell me what you think…..

Six Surefire Ways to End Up Old and Lonely

It seems to be a natural human trait that we don’t recognize the value of what we have until it is gone. People often make statements such as:

“You never call or come to visit.”

They wonder why. Sometimes we have to do some really difficult soul searching to find the answer. But if you’re really hell bent on being old and lonely here are a few ways to accomplish that task.

Alienate everyone you know.

There are several easy ways to do this. Be rude. Insult them. Keep a totally negative attitude. Complain all the time. If that doesn’t work they’re just gluttons for punishment. Never fear. There are other ways.

Get rid of excess baggage.

If they live with you just throw them out at least once a week. Sooner or later they’ll get tired of all the packing and unpacking and just move on. If they’re the stubborn type you may have to repeat the process several times for it to be effective. But repetitive behavior does pay off eventually.

Use words that hurt.

Treat them like crap. Tell them how worthless they are. Downplay their good points. Focus on their faults, weaknesses and flaws. Never give them any credit. Talk down to them. That usually works really well.

Get downright selfish.

Point out all the wonderful things you’ve done for them but don’t acknowledge anything they’ve done for you. Use the words I, me, my and mine a lot. Remind them how they would be nothing without you.

Play the blame game.

Blame them for every negative thing that has ever happened in your life. No. Don’t stop there. Go for the gusto. Blame them for everything that has gone wrong in the entire world. This will really bring them to their knees.

Replace them but keep them around like a spare tire.

If you want to break off a relationship tell him or her that there’s bigger, better fish in the sea. In fact, reel one in to bring home and put the trophy on display. This will really get him or her where it hurts. Don’t forget to say you’ll always be friends. That’s a real tearjerker. Don’t forget to call your old flame to watch the kids so you and the new flame can have fun. That’s sticking the knife between the shoulder blades and twisting real hard.

If it’s your friends you’re giving the brush off to just tell them you’ve found other friends that are more fun, influential or have more money. You’ll have some new enemies to go along with your new friends.

Time has passed and you have only your memories to keep you company. The new friends that you tossed aside your old friends for have made new friends of their own. Family members became weary of trying and moved on. You sabotaged your last relationship just like the one before and now you’re all alone. Don’t you wish you had done things differently?

What’s up world? Just a quick intro of myself. My name is Erin, I live in Chicago, born and raised in St. Louis. I will be the new “Blog” guy for this great and wonderful site.
I’m no expert on love or relationships. I’m just a regular heterosexual 30-year-old brother who’s been thru it all when it comes to women. And over the last year or so I decided to take time away from relationships and focus all of my time and energy on my career. I’m a filmmaker / writer, currently working on a Universal Studios film here in the Chi.
My objective on this site is to put questions out there concerning relationships and to answer any questions that are asked of me concerning  relationships.  I’ll try to keep it interesting.
Again this is all just my opinion. And I AM NO EXPERT. I’m just an honest individual. So please hit me up with any questions or comments.
Peace

Question: How important is it to hold back a little when you are in an early, loving relationship?

When I was in college I was hanging with a few of my female friends. As usual I was the only guy around and we got into a pretty heated conversation about relationships.
One of them turned to me and said, “When you are in love you are not supposed to think about things going wrong.”
I thought that was pretty stupid. My argument was that in any situation you should be prepared for the day that things are no longer the same. If that means putting a little nest egg to the side that your partner doesn’t know about, so be it.
But later when I thought about what she was saying I understood that I sounded like some type of love skeptic, which I am.
But my logic is that nothing last forever. So when your relationship does end, how long will it take you to get back to normal, by yourself and for yourself?
But I wonder if that mentality keeps me from opening myself up enough to allow true love into my life…. Probably so.
My question is should you pour yourself into someone else completely? If not how do you give enough and not everything?
What do you all think?

If you’ve got a significant other, I highly recommend you keep the spark of your relationship alive and find ways to show you appreciate each other, every week and every day, if possible.

Look for little, inexpensive ways to be romantic, and it will pay off for your relationship in innumerable ways.

Why inexpensive? Well, you could rent a limo and take your love to a snooty French restaurant, or whisk him or her off to a trip to the snow-capped Alps, or rent a stadium and have the Three Tenors sing love songs for you while the New York Philharmonic plays in the background. I don’t know about you, but I can’t afford to do that kind of stuff more than a few times a month. The rest of the time, I have to resort to cheaposity.

Before we get into the list, let’s look at a few notes on how to use the list:

1. Weekly dates. I recommend you have a date at least once a week with your partner. It doesn’t have to be an expensive one, but at least find some way to spend a couple hours time together. If you’ve got kids, like I do, find a babysitter.
2. Communicate. Romantic gestures don’t take the place of real communication. Take time to talk about your goals, your dreams, your plans for the future, your current lives, things you’re happy about, things you love about the other person, things you’d like to work on, things you’re grateful for.
3. Inspiration. This list contains a lot of obvious stuff - you could probably come up with twice as many good ideas yourself. But the list doesn’t aim for originality - it aims to be an inspiration. Pick and choose some good ideas, or use it to spark some of your own. Sometimes we just need a little reminder.
4. Forget Valentines. Boycott Valentine’s Day, as it makes people think they should be romantic on special occasions. Instead, pick one of these ideas and do it any day of the week - no need for a special occasion.

OK, enough talk. Let’s look at some ways to be romantic without breaking your budget (note to my mom: don’t read this, as there are a couple of sexy-time things later on):

1. Write a poem.
2. Cook a romantic dinner.
3. Give a full-body massage.
4. Pack a sunset picnic.
5. Pick wildflowers on the way home.
6. Burn a CD with love songs.
7. Give dark chocolates.
8. Read poetry together.
9. Prepare strawberries with fondue chocolate.
10. Snuggle together on a rainy day.
11. Leave little love notes everywhere.
12. Send a love email every day.
13. Take a moonlit walk on the beach.
14. Snuggle together while watching romantic movies (Casablanca, Audrey Hepburn are my favs).
15. Get good wine, watch shooting stars.
16. Take a bath together (use bubbles!).
17. Bring home good coffee or a decadent sweet.
18. Take a walk down memory lane - visit some of the special places from your early days of dating.
19. Make warm chocolate cake for dessert.
20. Make a scrapbook with photos, mementos, and little notes from you lives together.
21. Kiss in the rain.
22. Ride a ferris wheel.
23. Sneak away from a party and make out.
24. Bring home great take-out, and light some candles.
25. Fix something or fix up the house just to make your partner happy.
26. Slow dance to romantic music.
27. Take a nap together.
28. Kiss slowly, touching his or her back and neck and nape - slowly.
29. Make a list of everything you love about him or her.
30. Write a love letter.
31. Clip or email things that make you think of him or her, every day.
32. Go to a movie, ignore the movie, and make out like teen-agers.
33. Groom yourself, and try to look good for your partner.
34. Take some quiet time and talk about your day.
35. Write little notes, one for each way he or she drives you crazy.
36. Feed each other grapes.
37. Recreate your partner’s favorite romantic movie scene.
38. Pretend you’re going on a first date - show up at the door with flowers, all dressed up, with your car washed and cleaned, looking spiffy. Recreate the first time.
39. Create a little box with a bunch of your partner’s favorite things inside.
40. Paint each other with flavored body paint. Be creative!
41. Try some sexy role-playing. Get dressed up, be daring, have fun.
42. Give a little token to your partner to wear, and say it’s to remind him or her all day that you love them.
43. Sing a favorite song to him or her. Only do this if you can sing fairly well.
44. Have dinner on the roof, with some candles. This doesn’t work if your roof slopes sharply.
45. Hold hands, and walk somewhere with lots of pretty lights.
46. Say I love you. In a different way, every day.
47. Blindfold your partner. Use a feather. Slowly.
48. Declare your love, very publicly.
49. Fruit or berries and freshly made whipped cream.
50. Play Sade. Do what comes naturally. Slowly.
via [zenhabits.net]