People need to love and be loved. Yet many people have trouble doing so. This is by no means an exhaustive list…but it is a start.

1. Choose a partner wisely and well.
We are attracted to people for all sorts of reasons. One could be that they remind us of someone from our past. Another that they spend money on us — buying gifts and making us feel important. Evaluate a potential partner as you would a friend; look at their character, personality, morals, their generosity of spirit, the relationship between their words and actions, their relationships with others (family is important).

2. Know your partner’s beliefs about relationships.
Different people have different outlooks on relationships. And please believe that this can sometimes be conflicting. You don’t want to fall in love with someone who expects lots of dishonesty in relationships; they’ll create it where it doesn’t exist.

3. Don’t confuse sex with love.
Men are especially good at differentiating this. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, attraction and pleasure in sex –aka lust– are often mistaken for love.

4. Know your needs and make sure they are heard.
A relationship is not a guessing game. Men and women fear stating their needs and as a result, their partners are left clueless. The latter result is disappointment and possible anger at a partner for not having met their “unstated” needs. In order to become close as a couple, you must be honest with one another…please remember that your partner is not a mind reader.

5. View yourselves as a team.
A team brings people together with a goal. They may have a different perspective or strengths, but they continue pressing forward to teach and learn together.

6. Know how to respect and manage differences.
This is the true key to a successful relationship. Disagreements don’t end relationships however, name-calling does. Learn how to handle the negative feelings that may arise from the differences. Stonewalling or avoiding conflicts is NOT managing them.

7. Communicate.
If you don’t understand or like something your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is doing it. Talk it out, don’t assume.

8. Solve problems as they occur.
Don’t let anger simmer. Most of what goes wrong in relationships can be traced to hurt feelings. This can lead to walls being built and eventually breaking the relationship…or creating enemies.

9. Learn to negotiate.
Modern relationships no longer rely on roles. Couples should create their own roles. Every decision should be though through and negotiated by both parties. Because people’s needs are fluid and change
over time, and life’s demands change too, good relationships are negotiated and renegotiated all the time.

10. Listen — truly listen– to your partner’s concerns and complaints without judgment.
Much of the time, just having someone listen is all we need. It opens the door to confiding, confiding to trust and trust to a better outlook. Empathy is crucial especially in understand things from your partner’s perspective.

11. Work hard to maintain closeness.
Closeness doesn’t happen by itself. In absence, people drift apart and are susceptible to affairs. A good relationship isn’t an end goal; it is a lifelong process maintained via regular attention.

12. Take a long-range view on life together.
A marriage is an agreement to spend a future together. Check out your dreams with each other regularly to make sure you’re both on the same track. Update your dreams regularly!

13. Never underestimate the power of good grooming.
Enough said.

14. Sex is good. Pillow talk is better.
Sex is easy, intimacy is difficult. Intimacy requires honesty, openness, self-disclosure, fears, sadnesses as well as hopes and dreams.

15. Never go to sleep angry.
Trust me, you don’t want the spat to continue in the morning. Try steps 8 and 10 again.

16. Apologize.
Anyone can make a mistake but repairing that mistake is crucial. Apologies can be clumsy, funny, even sarcastic—but willingness to make up after an argument is central to every happy relationship.

17. Some dependency is good, but complete dependency is bad.
We’re all dependent to a degree — on friends, close family members, partners — and men have just as many dependency needs as women.

18. Maintain self-respect and self-esteem.
It’s easier for someone to like you and to be around you when you like yourself. Research has shown that the more roles people fill, the more sources of self-esteem they have. Get out and volunteer or join a committee at work. Make sure to be SURE of yourself.

19. Enrich your relationship by bringing into it new interests from outside the relationship.
The more passions in life that you have and share, the richer your relationship will be. It is unrealistic to expect one person to meet all of your needs in life.

20. Cooperate.
Share responsibilities. Relationships work ONLY when they are two-way streets. You must give as well as take.

21. Be spontaneous.

22. Keep up with your health.
Exercise…this ties in with number 18 as well. When you look better, you feel better.

23. Recognize that all relationships have their ups and downs.
You cannot be on “cloud 9″ all the time. No relationship is perfect. Working together through the hard times will make the relationship even stronger.

24. Make good sense of a bad relationship.
Examine it as a reflection of your beliefs about you. Don’t just run away from a bad relationship. You’ll either run straight into another bad one or turn your anger onto your next partner. Use it as a mirror to look at yourself. Understand what part of you is creating this relationship. Change yourself before you change your relationship.

25. Understand that love is not an absolute.
Love is not a limited commodity that you’re in of or out of. You must learn how to treat one another. If you learn new ways to interact, the feelings can come flowing back, often stronger than before.

I am always surfing the net tyring to find information to help the broke/cheap romantic.

I ran across these cute ideas to celebrate your love on a budget:

My best anniversary idea was actually one I suggested to a friend for her first anniversary with her boyfriend. I told her to get a big piñata and fill it with her boyfriends favorite chocolates, confetti, streamers, rose petals and other fun stuff. The next thing to do was to write 12 reasons why she loves him (12 for the number of months they’ve been together) on pieces of cardstock and put them in the piñata too. She could then blindfold her boyfriend and get him to try to hit it. When it breaks open he will be showered with all the things that were inside it!

My girlfriend LOVES Hershey’s kisses. So I bought a couple of big bags and counted out 101 of them (and ate any spares!). Next I cut out 101 small card heart shapes, which I then wrote 101 things I love about her on. For example, I love the way your eyes seem to shine when you smile, I love the way your lips taste, +99 more. A first I thought maybe I’d bitten off more than I could chew, and wondered if id make it to 101. But if you keep a small notepad with you in the day, you can jot down any ideas. Just remember special moments you’ve shared and favorite things to do together and hopefully you’ll get there.
I then glued each heart to the base of each kiss and placed them all in a confetti filled box with a card on the top reading: “101 kisses for 101 things I love about you!” She loved it, but refused to ever eat them as they looked too good to eat.

How can you charm a woman? Do they like a daily check-in phone call? Does she secretly wish you’d text her in the middle of the day for no reason but to make her smile? Do they prefer expensive dinners to home-cooked meals? Rock-hard abs? Flowers for no reason?
Identifying women’s turn-ons is complicated, because they all react differently. Some women you wish came with owner’s manuals so you knew exactly how they were wired. Luckily, I’ve done most of the legwork for you and am happy to pass this knowledge on to you.
Top 10 ways to charm a woman

1. Be aware. This means cracking open more than the sports section on the daily paper. Be up on current events and learn the difference between feelings, emotions and thoughts. Women are emotional beings and tend to think things through.
“They are attracted to men who are as smart or smarter”
They are attracted to men who are as smart or smarter than them, and your knowledge of worldly matters will demonstrate your intelligence.
2. Demonstrate humor. Women love a man who can make them laugh. Now don’t fret here if you’re not a stand-up comedian. We all have a certain type of humor. You can be dry, sarcastic, hilariously funny, quick-witted or dark. Being able to poke fun at yourself and just plain old being goofy is a turn-on for women. Keep in mind that all women are not attracted to the same type of humor, so if you don’t vibe, just walk away and try someone else.
3. Have passion. A guy who lives his life with gusto is incredibly appealing. When you speak to a woman about your life, your travels, your job, your interests, speak with passion. That passion about who you are will turn her on instantly. She will start to imagine what it will be like when you are involved with her and how passionate you will speak about her.
4. Be considerate. Pay attention to the little things and look for opportunities to make small gestures that show you care. A simple “How was your day?” and being able to listen to her when she wants to discuss something are huge. So many men forget about simple things like holding the door, paying for her valet or just thanking her for a great time last night. Women are all about a guy with manners — she is not attracted to the dope who acts like a caveman.
5. Be honest.
“Share who you are by telling her something personal”
Share who you are by telling her something personal. Maybe share one of your favorite childhood memories or some personal growth that you have been going through. Something that will show her that you are a trusting and honest person. It also shows that you are a confident but vulnerable man. Women love to see the vulnerable side of you. Note: Don’t talk about an ex in a bad way here. If you have to talk about an ex, do so in a positive manner and share what you learned and how you grew from the relationship.
6. Be flexibile. Be open to her plans but surprise her with your flexibility. Take charge and surprise her with a fun night out. Instead of being the typical guy who makes a reservation, think about how you can be the guy who listens to her and plans a great date that she did not expect. If you can pull this off, she will be open to all sorts of advances from you.
7. Be positive. If you are positive about life, it shows in your actions. I always tell men to be extra nice to waiters, bartenders and other service people. Be a courteous driver when she’s in the car. When you are in line at the movies, don’t complain. Look for the humor and try to have fun with people all around you. Be positive about everything, and she will find you to be very sexy and alluring. No one wants to be with a negative hothead.
8. Be balanced. Women love a successful, ambitious man. They love that you work hard, but if you constantly put work ahead of her she will become turned off. She will start to imagine what life with you will be like with her needs being ignored. If you are out meeting women to date, you need to balance your life between work and play. This will be a major turn-on for her.
9. Have ambition. Men who are ambitious about what they do are a turn-on to women. It doesn’t matter if you choose to be a rich stock trader or a painter, as long as you are passionate about who you are and what you do. If you don’t love what you do, find something that really turns you on. You can’t attract the woman you want with a negative ambition. Women love a man who is the best at what he does.
10. Be attentive. You are out with her for the very first time, and she tells you she loves a certain type of music. On the next date take her to a lounge that plays that type of music. It is all about paying attention to the details and working on your listening skills.

This list of 10 things will work in most cases. Keep in mind there is always the woman who you just can’t seem to please. If you happen to cross paths with this type of woman, ask yourself, “Why would I want to be with a woman who is so difficult?”
I tend to avoid the difficult, judgmental women. Knowing women’s turn-ons and putting them into practice will help you identify women who may be relationship material. You need to realize that you want to attract and turn on the women that are attracted to you on an equal level!

via [AttractandApproach.com]

Thousands of couples walked down the aisle on Saturday, 7-7-07, hoping all those 7s — the number long associated with luck — will keep them lucky in love. It’s one of the most popular wedding dates in modern history, according to overwhelmed wedding planners, florists, and photographers.

Relationship experts caution, however, that much more than luck is needed to stay together and beat the odds of a divorce, now estimated to end half of today’s marriages. Here, relationship experts consulted by WebMD offer their best marriage tips for how to stay lucky in love. And they go way beyond the usual tips to buy her flowers, cook his favorite meal, and remember to schedule date night.

Marriage Tip No. 1: Purge the “D’” word.

With the taste of wedding cake barely off their lips, divorce is the last thought — or word — on newlyweds’ minds. But as the honeymoon period wanes, and day-to-day difficulties crop up, the word can come up frequently during arguments for some couples, say relationship counselors.

“Just don’t go there,” suggests Steve Brody, Ph.D., a psychologist in Cambria, Calif., who counsels couples. “Some people pull that out much too early, and much too often in a relationship. It raises a whole level of anxiety [in the person hearing it].”

Divorce is also considered a dirty word by the more than 200 “marriage masters” interviewed for the book, “Project Everlasting.” Co-authors Mat Boggs and Jason Miller, bachelors and childhood buddies from Portland, Ore., traveled the country to interview the couples, married 40 or more years, and ask for their best marriage tips.

“Don’t use the D word” was one oft-repeated suggestion for keeping a happy marriage, Boggs says. These marriage masters told him, “You need all your energy to find the solution to a problem and work it out. If you are even giving any consideration to a divorce, you lessen your ability to solve the problem.”

Of course, Boggs says, the marriage masters acknowledged that some situations are deal breakers, such as addiction, adultery, or abuse. But when the problem is less severe, many of the marriage masters told him they create a “ledger of life.” They get out a piece of paper and write down everything they love about their spouse. Eventually, they shift gears and begin to focus on what is right, not what’s wrong.

Marriage Tip No. 2: Replace the seven deadly habits in a marriage with the seven caring habits.

Learning the seven bad habits and the seven good ones is the easy part, admit William Glasser, M.D., a Los Angeles psychiatrist, and his wife, Carleen

Glasser, M.A., who co-authored “Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage,” include this idea in their book and counseling sessions. Putting them into practice takes effort, of course.

The seven deadly habits are criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing.

The seven caring habits include supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting, and negotiating your differences.

Marriage Tip No. 3: Take care of yourself.

This marriage tip is short and sweet: “Take care of yourself physically and spiritually,” Brody tells couples. That way, your stress will be down and your tolerance will be up. You’ll be less likely to get on each other’s nerves — and to squabble. You’re more likely to have a happy marriage.

Marriage Tip No. 4: Discuss outside friendships.

While some married couples consider activities such as workplace friendships with members of the opposite sex acceptable, some relationship experts disagree.

“I’m not big on cross-gender friendships for married people,” Brody says. “It’s playing with fire.” One exception, in his book: If a wife has a friendship with a gay man or a husband has a friendship with a gay woman, he’s fine with that, since the romance potential is nonexistent.

Otherwise, he says, the line is too easy and tempting to cross.

Marriage Tip No. 5: Stop trying to control your partner.

It’s another one of those easier-said-than done marriage tips, of course. But trying to control each other — using a technique psychologists call “external control” — is the main source of marital unhappiness, according to the Glassers. In a happy marriage, partners know they cannot control each other.

You have practiced this “external control” if you have ever told your partner they need to behave the way you want them to or that you know what is right.

Learning not to control a partner can be a long process, but the Glassers offer some tips on educating yourself. “Think first,” Carleen Glasser says. Ask yourself: “If I can only control my own behavior, what can I do to help the marriage?” Then think of what you can change to make the problem better, she suggests.

Marriage Tip No. 6: Honor and respect your partner.

“Be honoring all the time,” says Thomas Merrill. That means no “my old lady” stories, he says. And it also means a wife shouldn’t be flirting with male co-workers or other men.

Respect was also a marriage tip that came up often from the marriage masters, Boggs says. “The No. 1 principle that almost everyone talked about is respect,” he says. “You can have respect without love, but you cannot have love without respect.”

Respect, say those with a happy marriage, means not undermining your partner in front of the children. “And don’t go outside the marriage when you are having a problem,” Boggs says they advised. “Discuss it with your partner.”

Respect also means not criticizing your mate in front of others, Miller and Boggs were often told by the marriage masters. To make this marriage tip easier to practice, consider the input of one marriage master on the topic, Boggs says. “One man told me, ‘Let’s say someone is walking by when you are criticizing your mate. That is the only opinion they have of you.’”

Marriage Tip No. 7: If you’re the wife, lower your expectations. If you’re the husband, step up to the plate.

When Steve Brody and his wife, Cathy Brody, MFT, a marriage and family counselor, toured the country to promote their book, “Renew Your Marriage at Midlife,” they asked audiences what they wanted from marriage.

“Women expected to be loved, cherished, listened to, cared for, and courted,” Steve Brody says. They had a long list of wants and expectations, he recalls. The men joked that their expectations were more basic: Their typical answers, Brody says: “Bring food and show up naked.”

While the men were half joking, the gaps in expectations are a good lesson. To close the gap, Brody says, women need to lower their expectations — to not expect 24/7 romance, for instance, especially if their mate has just worked an unbelievably long week.

Men need to do some of the things the woman wants, such as prioritize their relationship and listen more, he says. In a nutshell, Brody says, “Men need to do the same things at home that they do at work.” He tells the husbands he counsels to think of it this way: “Your wife is the million-dollar client. If she walks out the door, the business is closed.”

[via WebMD]

If you’ve got a significant other, I highly recommend you keep the spark of your relationship alive and find ways to show you appreciate each other, every week and every day, if possible.

Look for little, inexpensive ways to be romantic, and it will pay off for your relationship in innumerable ways.

Why inexpensive? Well, you could rent a limo and take your love to a snooty French restaurant, or whisk him or her off to a trip to the snow-capped Alps, or rent a stadium and have the Three Tenors sing love songs for you while the New York Philharmonic plays in the background. I don’t know about you, but I can’t afford to do that kind of stuff more than a few times a month. The rest of the time, I have to resort to cheaposity.

Before we get into the list, let’s look at a few notes on how to use the list:

1. Weekly dates. I recommend you have a date at least once a week with your partner. It doesn’t have to be an expensive one, but at least find some way to spend a couple hours time together. If you’ve got kids, like I do, find a babysitter.
2. Communicate. Romantic gestures don’t take the place of real communication. Take time to talk about your goals, your dreams, your plans for the future, your current lives, things you’re happy about, things you love about the other person, things you’d like to work on, things you’re grateful for.
3. Inspiration. This list contains a lot of obvious stuff - you could probably come up with twice as many good ideas yourself. But the list doesn’t aim for originality - it aims to be an inspiration. Pick and choose some good ideas, or use it to spark some of your own. Sometimes we just need a little reminder.
4. Forget Valentines. Boycott Valentine’s Day, as it makes people think they should be romantic on special occasions. Instead, pick one of these ideas and do it any day of the week - no need for a special occasion.

OK, enough talk. Let’s look at some ways to be romantic without breaking your budget (note to my mom: don’t read this, as there are a couple of sexy-time things later on):

1. Write a poem.
2. Cook a romantic dinner.
3. Give a full-body massage.
4. Pack a sunset picnic.
5. Pick wildflowers on the way home.
6. Burn a CD with love songs.
7. Give dark chocolates.
8. Read poetry together.
9. Prepare strawberries with fondue chocolate.
10. Snuggle together on a rainy day.
11. Leave little love notes everywhere.
12. Send a love email every day.
13. Take a moonlit walk on the beach.
14. Snuggle together while watching romantic movies (Casablanca, Audrey Hepburn are my favs).
15. Get good wine, watch shooting stars.
16. Take a bath together (use bubbles!).
17. Bring home good coffee or a decadent sweet.
18. Take a walk down memory lane - visit some of the special places from your early days of dating.
19. Make warm chocolate cake for dessert.
20. Make a scrapbook with photos, mementos, and little notes from you lives together.
21. Kiss in the rain.
22. Ride a ferris wheel.
23. Sneak away from a party and make out.
24. Bring home great take-out, and light some candles.
25. Fix something or fix up the house just to make your partner happy.
26. Slow dance to romantic music.
27. Take a nap together.
28. Kiss slowly, touching his or her back and neck and nape - slowly.
29. Make a list of everything you love about him or her.
30. Write a love letter.
31. Clip or email things that make you think of him or her, every day.
32. Go to a movie, ignore the movie, and make out like teen-agers.
33. Groom yourself, and try to look good for your partner.
34. Take some quiet time and talk about your day.
35. Write little notes, one for each way he or she drives you crazy.
36. Feed each other grapes.
37. Recreate your partner’s favorite romantic movie scene.
38. Pretend you’re going on a first date - show up at the door with flowers, all dressed up, with your car washed and cleaned, looking spiffy. Recreate the first time.
39. Create a little box with a bunch of your partner’s favorite things inside.
40. Paint each other with flavored body paint. Be creative!
41. Try some sexy role-playing. Get dressed up, be daring, have fun.
42. Give a little token to your partner to wear, and say it’s to remind him or her all day that you love them.
43. Sing a favorite song to him or her. Only do this if you can sing fairly well.
44. Have dinner on the roof, with some candles. This doesn’t work if your roof slopes sharply.
45. Hold hands, and walk somewhere with lots of pretty lights.
46. Say I love you. In a different way, every day.
47. Blindfold your partner. Use a feather. Slowly.
48. Declare your love, very publicly.
49. Fruit or berries and freshly made whipped cream.
50. Play Sade. Do what comes naturally. Slowly.
via [zenhabits.net]

What can be more romantic than sending a handwritten love letter to your loved one, full of romantic words and genuine feelings you have for him/her? Love letters are one of the best ways to show your special loved ones how you feel for them and how much you love them.

A heartfelt love letter also makes the perfect gift for Valentine’s Day, but you don’t have to just limit yourself to that specific day. Every day is a great opportunity to make your loved one happy by sharing your deepest feelings with him/her.

The great thing about love letters is that you don’t have to be a poet or a skilled “writer” to be able to write them. Everyone - and I really mean “everyone” - can do it.

Because they are just about putting your romantic feelings into words genuinely - even in very simple words. This openness is what makes love letters special.

To write a more romantic and heart warming letter, here are some questions that will give you good ideas to write about:

Idea #1:

What was the first time you felt you were in love with him/her? Did anything special happen that made you realize your love?

You can describe in clear details how it happened and how you felt and it will mean the world to your loved one. I promise.

Idea #2:

What is the #1 thing he/she has that makes you feel so much in love with him/her whenever you think about it? It could be about looks or about personality.

For example you may say “the way her face shines when she smiles”, or “the way his eyes always bring peace and love to me when I look into them.”

Idea #3:

What positive changes have you made since he/she has entered your life? What valuable lessons have you learned from him/her?

For example it could be that before you met him/her, you were pretty shy and didn’t fully believe in yourself and your unique abilities, but he/she helped you love yourself more and be proud of who you are.

When your loved one reads this, she will practically feel on clouds because he/she sees what a big difference he/she had made in your life.
Idea #4:

It’s also a good idea to include a heartfelt romantic love poem at the end or the beginning of your letter. Sometimes nothing can show how we feel better and deeper than a good poem.

Idea #5:

And as the last tip: Don’t forget to say “I Love You” at the end of your letter. This simple yet effective sentence will really seal the deal in your loved one’s mind.

Wish you a wonderful life full of love,

Ladan Lashkari

About the Author

Ladan Lashkari is giving away a FREE collection of beautiful romantic love poems that are perfect for including in your love letters. To grab your copy of these poems, drop by http://www.LovePoemsWorld.com while they are still available.

Ahhh romance…that elusive experience that comes and goes.

When we have it we think it will last forever, when we don’t we worry that it will never come again. It is an experience that so many crave yet have had so little of in their lives.

True romance feels good. It should not frighten you. If it does not feel good to you then you are confusing romance with all the bad things that happens in dysfunctional relationships.

Do you remember how good it feels when you begin falling in love with someone? The intensity of these good feelings come from our connection with our Source, from many spiritual beings, including our own Inner Being, radiating their enthusiasm and excitement that we have found our heart’s desire. This is why they are so powerful.

Good feelings always result from being in alignment with the whole of our being and what we have been asking for. If you already have romance in your life, whether it is a new relationship or one that you have had for a while, you are in a very good place. Your dominant vibration is one of great happiness, great joy and great passion.

That means you have an incredible connection with your source. You should understand that this is responsible for many of the other wonderful things that are falling into place in your life right now.

If you don’t have romance in your life, but you want it, then you are going to have to bring yourself to that place. You are going to have to romance yourself. You are going to have to treat yourself wonderfully and give yourself love and nurturing and caring and bring yourself into a place of great joy and passion for life.

Who wants to be around a sourpuss? No one. Who wants to be around someone with misery in their life? Very few people want that. If they do want that in their life, do you want them in yours?

So you have to take care of yourself. Look after yourself. Nurture and love yourself, take yourself out to dinner. Buy yourself wonderful things. Look in the mirror and flirt with yourself. Challenge the negative messages others have given you. Find things within you that contradict those negative messages. You need to feel loveable for someone to want to love you and for you to let it in.

If you are in a relationship now and it does not have the romance elements in it that you want or you want more from it, then you are the one who is going to have to create that. You are going to have to make yourself more available for that. You are going to have to treat yourself better so that you are in a better feeling place so that you are more attractive to your partner. And if this does not re-kindle the fire in the heart of your partner it will repel them and attract one that is better suited to who you are now.

Romance is about relationships and getting to know another person. It is about the discovery of your own beauty through the eyes of an attentive other.

Part of what makes it feel good, of what keeps you open to receiving, is your recognition of qualities that you appreciate in this other person. It is your focus on the beauty you find in them.

What makes Romance go bad? When does it stop feeling good and start feeling bad? When you discover and focus on things you do not like in this other person. These bad feelings are an indication that you are focused on something that you do not want. They are an indication that you are pinching off your connection with your life giving, energizing, All Knowing and All Seeing Source.

Does pinching off your Source sound like something you want to do? It is not because you or they have done something bad that you are cut off from your Source. It is your focus on what you do not want the cuts you off from your Source.

This article is not intended to address how to deal with the dramatically abusive things that happen in some relationships. If you need that kind of help then please seek appropriate counselling. The concepts addressed here will help, but you will also need help understanding how so many of the ideas that you hold about life keep you from the happiness you seek.

Most relationships suffer from a break down in focus way before any of the more serious problems occur. One event at a time each person notices something they don’t like in their partner. Then they focus on it and make it a little bigger.

When you worry about something your partner did or does, and you tell others about how annoying it is, you are focusing your attention on it and you are shifting your vibration so that it matches those same unwanted behaviours. You are actually turning yourself into a magnet for more such experiences.

Not only that but if you are telling others about it you are probably setting up resentments in them towards your partner. So now there are two people holding negative energy towards your partner. Your friend may even begin to distance themselves from you because of the negative energy they perceive that you are making them feel.

Can you see how this would affect you? Can you see how this is not romantic energy you will be feeling, or even open to feeling if you are holding such thoughts in your mind? Can you see how this would affect your partner?

We all respond to our feelings and the feelings we pick up from others much more than we consciously realize. These feelings push and pull us, most don’t know why they go where they do, but yet they do go. Your work is to become conscious of the energies at play in your life and romantic relationships give you plenty of chances to generate the widest variety of feelings.

Negativity that you feel towards your partner will be noticed. Most people are not aware enough to turn away from this negativity so you are likely to arouse similar negativities within them or push them away from you if they do not wish to engage in them.

If your partner did something you did not like, of course you will feel bad. But the solution, the answer to the desire that is born from that event, comes from focusing on what you do desire. You don’t do battle with the problem, you turn away from it and walk towards what you do want.

One day I was in my girlfriend’s kitchen preparing a meal (we’ll call her Shelia). I put a skillet on the burner and turned it onto high to preheat it.

Shelia came in and upon seeing the skillet being heated with nothing in it became angry. “You’re going to ruin my pans! Don’t do that!” she snapped as she turned the heat off. I was in a particularly clear space at that point in time and I decided to try turning her anger into love. I focused on many things about her that I loved and appreciated.

I focused on some of the nice vacations we had taken together and on the feelings of making love with her. I said nothing in my defense nor did anything else. Shelia said a few more derogatory words and then left the room. When the meal was ready I went to get her. She then blasted me with a few choice things from our past. Here is where so many relationships go wrong.

As you can see Sheila was still holding on to past issues. There is this accumulation process that most people do when something hurts them, they hang on to it and when other painful events occur at later times those old hurts also come to the foreground and receive focus.

Even though I know how destructive this can be, I still catch myself doing it. Sheila was focusing on what she did not want, not on what she did want. There was only one bad thing that happened yet she multiplied it into at least five other things.

Thus increasing the intensity of her bad experience. What affect would Sheila’s actions have had on you? I could feel it draw a very defensive and negative energy out of me. This is a great example of the creation process in action. I was determined to keep my good feeling state of mind. I reached for better feeling thoughts about Sheila. I realized that she was already annoyed at the kangaroos that were eating the new grass she had just planted. I knew of other things had gone bad for her that day too.

So I could understand how she got so angry when she discovered the empty skillet I was overheating. These thoughts gave me compassion for her. I also reminded myself that I am a good partner. I treat her well. I am only trying to make lunch for us both. I have done nothing wrong. All of these thoughts helped me to feel better about myself and remain centered.

Rather than defend myself I said to Sheila, “These things have no bearing on this incident. In fact we have already sorted them out. Please, let’s go and enjoy a nice meal together.” I continued to hold the thoughts of good times with Shelia. It was not even an hour later that the whole energy between us changed. We had a very nice and romantic connection for the rest of the day.

Things like this used to cause us many hours or even days of disconnection. I am certain that the shift I made in my energy made the difference in this case. So often people think that the romance in their life is due to the things they do. I know it is easy to believe this. However, if your actions are not in alignment with your thoughts and feelings then you are only wasting your energy and cutting yourself off from your Source.

There are many books that teach you how to re-kindle the love you once knew. They are full of great techniques and ideas. These are very helpful, but the actions you take must be inspired actions; inspired by the love and appreciation you have for your partner. So keep seeking out those things to admire and appreciate in your partner and in yourself.

About the Author

Michael Skowronski is a spiritually oriented Life Coach and Counsellor. He offers the free “Walk On Water” ezine and sells the “Facts of Life” ecourse from his http://gr8wisdom.com website. Michael also offers Teleclasses and an Apprenticeship Group. Please email comments or questions to mailt Michael@gr8Wisdom.com.

Sometimes a weekend getaway is just what a couple needs to reestablish their relationship and make a new connection. Making this weekend getaway a romantic adventure can further enhance the benefits of the getaway. Engaging in adventurous activity can have the affect of drawing the couple closer together. Try finding an activity that is new to both of you and you will be able to bond while tackling new challenges and adventures. A romantic adventure may include exploring a new location, enjoying the outdoors or taking flight in a hot air balloon or glider. Whatever option you choose, a romantic adventure is sure to rejuvenate your relationship.

Travel can be a romantic and adventurous way for a couple to get away for the weekend and put some spark back into their relationship. Exploring new locations whether they are exotic or domestic allows a couple an opportunity to learn and discover together.

If you live relatively close to another country you may have the chance to visit another country for the weekend and learn about different cultures, foods and people. If exploring a new country is not possible, do not be deterred. Exploring a new city can be just as fun.

There may be many cities close by that you and your partner have either never visited or visited only briefly. Even spending a day or two in a new city can be an enlightening adventure.

If you truly immerse yourself in a nearby city and take the opportunity to visit local restaurants and shops you are bound to notice that although the city may be very near in proximity to your own city, it has its own vibe about it. The culture of a city is driven by its residents so visiting a new area is often a chance for you and your partner to enjoy a new adventure together. Travel, whether it is domestic or international is a wonderful opportunity for a couple to enjoy a romantic weekend adventure.

Enjoying the outdoors is another way for a couple to share a weekend romantic adventure. Taking a backpacking trip is an excellent way for a couple to reconnect. While spending a few nights in isolation in the wilderness without distractions such as televisions and restaurants a couple really has an opportunity to talk and catch up on their relationship. All too often a couple falls into a rut of eating out and then returning home to watch television and go to bed but a backpacking trip may be just what a couple needs to put the spark back in their relationship. Backpacking allows a couple the opportunity to work together to prepare their meals using simplistic equipment and to have only each other to occupy their time is an excellent weekend romantic adventure idea. While backpacking may be a simple activity, the adventuresome and romantic aspects exist making this activity and excellent weekend getaway activity for a couple.

Doing something completely new to both of you such as a hot air balloon or glider ride can also be an excellent weekend romantic adventure idea for a couple. These activities can often be done right in your own city and give you the opportunity to view your city from a completely different perspective. From a high elevation, you have the opportunity to look down on your city and realize how truly small it is. While you may spend your days running errands and scurrying from place to place, viewing your hometown from such a high elevation gives you a new perspective on things. Additionally, these activities can induce a sense of fear which may bring you and your partner together. While the activity may be completely safe, the fear of the unknown can have the affect of drawing you and your partner closer together. A hot air balloon or glider ride is one way for a couple to enjoy a weekend romantic adventure that doesn’t have to take up their entire weekend but will draw them closer together and will give them a new perspective on their approach to life.

My colleague, Ruth D. Kerce, shares her thoughts on 5 romantic things men can do and 5 romantic things women can do to show they care. Don’t just read, try at least one of these fabulous ideas today. Bet your honey will thank you for it (in more ways than one).

Romantic Ideas for Men:

1. Draw her a warm bubble bath. Wash her back (& everywhere else). Take your time. Then towel her dry and carry her off to bed.

2. Give her a full body massage without expecting anything in return. You’re sure to get your reward the next night!

3. Little things go a long way. Hold her hand, link her arm through yours while you’re walking together, place your palm on the small of her back when standing beside her. Those tender gestures won’t go unnoticed.

4. Brush her hair at night. This can be very sensual. Be sure to use a brush, not a comb. And don’t pull. Be gentle. If you encounter a tangle, hold the hair above the tangle, then work it out.

5. Tell her you love her. Seems obvious, but many men overlook this. Women like to hear it. Often. Make her an audio tape and secretly slip it into the cassette player for her to find.

Romantic Ideas for Women:

1. Do something different. Instead of a massage, graze your nails lightly down his bare back (if you have good nails). It will send shivers of pleasure through his body.

2. Let him pick one fantasy a month for you to fulfill. Make up a list for him to choose from (that way the fantasy will be something that you’re not opposed to). Then plan it out as an official “date.”

3. Have some sexy (but tasteful) pictures taken and give them to him as a gift. It’ll be something unexpected and special–meant for his eyes only.

4. Personally write him an erotic story. He’ll see a new and exciting dimension to you after that.

5. Put on some sexy clothes, turn on the music, then slowly strip the clothes off layer by layer while he watches.