Do you believe in love at first sight? Disbelievers may have to think again because new research shows it only takes half a second to decide if someone is attractive and if someone could be a potential mate. The research looks a physical attractiveness and how we perceive someone as attractive or how we perceive someone as being attracted to our mate. It was found that people fixate on someone’s face before sizing them up for mate possibility. The study used college students as their base. The students were shown pictures of very attractive or average-looking people for one second before being asked to look at something else. The researchers then measured the students’ reaction time. There discovery was that it takes just a second to determine if someone is attractive to you or not.

The students in committed relationships who viewed the pictures were interested in attractive members of the same sex. These students were marked as those who were jealous of and worried about guarding their mates

The study also showed the pitfalls of visual fixation, including negative effects on self-esteem when looking at an attractive person of the same sex. The negativity could be linked to illnesses such as bulimia. Another pitfall is that people may become less satisfied in their current relationships.

Long distance relationships require a special willingness and understanding that can test love like no other type of relationship can. It requires constant communication and a desire to continually create your relationship, using the only real tool you have… your words. Make sure you communicate all of your feelings. Words can be lost in translation via text messages or e-mail. Make sure to take time and communicate as if you were face-to-face.

If phones — or long-distance minutes are not readily available – try a virtual date. Play a game … or a few … over the internet.

If you have a lot of phone minutes (or just start after 7 p.m. when minutes are free), rent a movie “together” and watch it at the same time and share your comments over the phone.

Make gifts for each other. Nothing extravagant…but something that will tell him/her that it is from the heart. One idea is little notes or sayings of “I Love You” in different languages.

At what point does the “Player” give up the game?

….Actually never. The reason I say this is because the game never ends. I always figured that by the age of 30 I would be settled down. Maybe have a couple little Bams running around the house. All that kind of mushy stuff.
When I was 20 I lived like I knew tomorrow wasn’t going to be an option for me. In other words I had a lot of fun. My subconscious understood that I was basically getting all the shit out of my system now, so that when the time came for me to act like I had some kinda’ sense I’d be ready.
But now I still feel like I’m not ready. A lot of it has to do with issues that I have within concerning relationships. But way too much of it has to do with the games that women play. And I don’t mean little girls who don’t know any better. But I mean grown ass women.
Why am I still dealing with issues that I was dealing with ten years ago? Some women are gone in the head. And the scary part about it is that the great majority of them have no clue. Now this same gone in the head female is a mother. Damn. I’m glad it’s not mine.
I’m scared of the thought of having a baby’s mama. No Good.
So I’ve taken another route to dating…..Being honest.
Don’t ask what you don’t want the real answer to.
Many pros and cons to being honest. But the hardest part is hoping that the young lady on the other end is on the same page. Most of the time they are not.
I wish that more people in the world thought like me. Who doesn’t. But that’s not the case. So before I go out on the weekend (which is rare), I have to get myself all pumped up to play. It reminds me of when I played football. I had to go thru a ritual to get myself ready to go into battle. It’s just now the battle is on a whole other playing field.
It’s all a game. Of course there are different objectives and rules. But it’s still a game.
I have buddies that are in their 30s and it’s still a big game for them. Some of them already have women, married or not. But they still feel the need to play. I think it makes us feel good to know that we can still be dominant MEN. And on the other hand ladies still feel the need to test if they still got it. These test come in the form of games.
If I see you in a club and we make eye contact, the game begins. I don’t want to play. But if I wanna get what I want. I have to. It’s not an option.
But I’m tired of it. I should be able to say hey, “I just wanna fool around. If something more happens, then we’ll see what’s up.” And she should be able to be down with it or kick me to the curb.
But because women deal with so many weak ass men who can’t handle the truth, then they don’t learn how to speak it when necessary. That’s another story.
I just wish I could find a real woman, without any issues (yeah right). Until then I’ll keep playing the game. But when I play. I play to win…..