Six Surefire Ways to End Up Old and Lonely

It seems to be a natural human trait that we don’t recognize the value of what we have until it is gone. People often make statements such as:

“You never call or come to visit.”

They wonder why. Sometimes we have to do some really difficult soul searching to find the answer. But if you’re really hell bent on being old and lonely here are a few ways to accomplish that task.

Alienate everyone you know.

There are several easy ways to do this. Be rude. Insult them. Keep a totally negative attitude. Complain all the time. If that doesn’t work they’re just gluttons for punishment. Never fear. There are other ways.

Get rid of excess baggage.

If they live with you just throw them out at least once a week. Sooner or later they’ll get tired of all the packing and unpacking and just move on. If they’re the stubborn type you may have to repeat the process several times for it to be effective. But repetitive behavior does pay off eventually.

Use words that hurt.

Treat them like crap. Tell them how worthless they are. Downplay their good points. Focus on their faults, weaknesses and flaws. Never give them any credit. Talk down to them. That usually works really well.

Get downright selfish.

Point out all the wonderful things you’ve done for them but don’t acknowledge anything they’ve done for you. Use the words I, me, my and mine a lot. Remind them how they would be nothing without you.

Play the blame game.

Blame them for every negative thing that has ever happened in your life. No. Don’t stop there. Go for the gusto. Blame them for everything that has gone wrong in the entire world. This will really bring them to their knees.

Replace them but keep them around like a spare tire.

If you want to break off a relationship tell him or her that there’s bigger, better fish in the sea. In fact, reel one in to bring home and put the trophy on display. This will really get him or her where it hurts. Don’t forget to say you’ll always be friends. That’s a real tearjerker. Don’t forget to call your old flame to watch the kids so you and the new flame can have fun. That’s sticking the knife between the shoulder blades and twisting real hard.

If it’s your friends you’re giving the brush off to just tell them you’ve found other friends that are more fun, influential or have more money. You’ll have some new enemies to go along with your new friends.

Time has passed and you have only your memories to keep you company. The new friends that you tossed aside your old friends for have made new friends of their own. Family members became weary of trying and moved on. You sabotaged your last relationship just like the one before and now you’re all alone. Don’t you wish you had done things differently?