Jun
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The New Blog Guy
Posted (Bam Sun) in General on June-11-2007

What’s up world? Just a quick intro of myself. My name is Erin, I live in Chicago, born and raised in St. Louis. I will be the new “Blog” guy for this great and wonderful site.
I’m no expert on love or relationships. I’m just a regular heterosexual 30-year-old brother who’s been thru it all when it comes to women. And over the last year or so I decided to take time away from relationships and focus all of my time and energy on my career. I’m a filmmaker / writer, currently working on a Universal Studios film here in the Chi.
My objective on this site is to put questions out there concerning relationships and to answer any questions that are asked of me concerning  relationships.  I’ll try to keep it interesting.
Again this is all just my opinion. And I AM NO EXPERT. I’m just an honest individual. So please hit me up with any questions or comments.
Peace

Question: How important is it to hold back a little when you are in an early, loving relationship?

When I was in college I was hanging with a few of my female friends. As usual I was the only guy around and we got into a pretty heated conversation about relationships.
One of them turned to me and said, “When you are in love you are not supposed to think about things going wrong.”
I thought that was pretty stupid. My argument was that in any situation you should be prepared for the day that things are no longer the same. If that means putting a little nest egg to the side that your partner doesn’t know about, so be it.
But later when I thought about what she was saying I understood that I sounded like some type of love skeptic, which I am.
But my logic is that nothing last forever. So when your relationship does end, how long will it take you to get back to normal, by yourself and for yourself?
But I wonder if that mentality keeps me from opening myself up enough to allow true love into my life…. Probably so.
My question is should you pour yourself into someone else completely? If not how do you give enough and not everything?
What do you all think?


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chief on June 13th, 2007 at 6:50 pm #

In love, it is expected that we give ourselves totally. Love means a passion that takes over our total being. In love, there is no holding back of anything. ‘If I love you, what I have is yours and I will hold nothing back from you. I expect the same from you and if you love me with that abundance and confidence, you will do the same.’ With frequent break-ups, people are becoming little worried about what if they give all and lose all?

If one holds back, that no longer remains love. It becomes an agreement or a contract. You love him/her to so-and-so extent and with some conditions. But then, that is no more love. It is a contract. This all sounds very confusing. Should I not experience the love that is heavenly and love that gives me a new life? Or should I live mechanically defending myself against all the odds? Every adventure gives us great exhilaration and every adventure carries risk. Ask mountaineers. What if they stop climbing mountains for the fear of losing their lives? But the attraction of mountaineering in some people is so much, that they feel dead if you stop them.

It is true of love. Given a choice, love fully and with a passion, that you never knew existed in you. Don’t worry about a break-up now. The present is to love and live. Let future come with all negative possibilities. At least experience love so that you can say that you lived and loved.

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