Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines love as, “strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties,” and defines lust as, “an intense longing”. These two conflicting definitions help to separate love from lust. By definition alone the two differ in that, love is based on an affinity while lust is based solely on desire. The two also differ in how they affect a relationship but sometimes it becomes difficult to separate the two because lust can exist in the presence of love. Analyzing a loving relationship and a lustful relationship separately will help us to learn to distinguish love from lost.

Love has a positive affect on a relationship because when love exists in a relationship both partners hold the happiness of the other in a high esteem and place the happiness of their partner ahead of their own desires.

Love affects relationships in a myriad of ways including how the couple interacts, the leisure activities they participate in and the longevity of the relationship. In a loving relationship the couple behaves thoughtfully towards each other and is mindful of their partner’s feelings.In this type of relationship, each partner places themselves ahead of their partner and they strive to treat each other lovingly and with respect. Also, in a loving relationship the leisure activities that the couple participates in are based on a mutual love and respect.

Activities are chosen with careful consideration to the partner’s feelings. In a loving relationship the partners typically engage in activities that they either strongly agree on or those that are a compromise. While a couple in a loving relationship may not always be in complete agreement regarding leisure activities, they strive to compromise to ensure that both partners have the opportunity to engage in their preferred activities. Finally a relationship that is based on love is usually long lasting. The presence of love in the relationship enables a couple to work through any problems or difficulties that arise in the relationship and helps the relationship to endure. The thoughtfulness and caring that exists in a loving relationship helps the relationship to grown and endure.Conversely a lustful relationship may not necessary have a negative affect on a relationship but it also may not be as positive as a loving relationship. Similarly to love, lust also affects a relationship in regard to how the couple interacts, the activities the couple participate in and the durability of the relationship. The primary difference between a lustful and a loving relationship is that while in a loving relationship the partners place a high value on the happiness of their partner, a lustful relationship is one in which the partners are consumed by their own desires. The partners in a lustful relationship place their needs and wants ahead of their partner’s desires. This alone is enough to make their partner feel disrespected and to not place a high value on the relationship. The fundamental selfishness that exists in a lustful relationship trickles down and affects the activities in which the couple participates. While those in a loving relationship strive to compromise and find activities that they both enjoy, those in a lustful relationship are more prone to insist on participating in activities that they enjoy regardless of whether or not their partner will also enjoy this activity. One final characteristic of a lustful relationship is that it is typically short lived. A lustful relationship is driven by passion and desire and once a goal is reached the partner becomes no longer desirable. With nothing else to drive the relationship it soon begins to wane and the couple often separates. Lustful relationships are characterized by a selfishness and lack of respect that typically results in a short and tumultuous relationship. Complicating the issue of separating love and lust is that it is often possible for lust to exist within a loving relationship. The existence of lust within a loving relationship is often driven by a desire to become closer to the partner. This is a natural occurrence as a physical relationship is extremely important in a romantic relationship. When lust exists within a loving relationship it is not necessarily detrimental to the relationship. As long as the lust does not take over the love and become the dominant characteristic it can be a healthy part of the relationship. The opposite is not true, however. A lustful relationship can not also include love. The primary characteristic of selfishness does not enable love to factor into a lustful relationship. Placing your own desires ahead of your partner

’s precludes the formation of a loving bond. While it’s not possible to have a lustful relationship with the existence of love a little bit of lust mixed into a loving relationship can lead to a closer connection and stronger bond for the couple.Separating love from lust can be complicated but the key factors to remember is that a loving relationship is one based on selflessness and thoughtfulness while a lustful relationship is characterized by selfishness and thoughtlessness. These fundamental differences often affect whether or not a relationship will be long lasting and will endure the test of time. The separation of love from lust is further complicated by the fact that lust can exist in a loving relationship. The opposite, however, is not possible. Understand that lust can factor into a loving relationship and have a positive affect on the relationship is key to understanding the differences between love and lust.

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Sometimes a weekend getaway is just what a couple needs to reestablish their relationship and make a new connection. Making this weekend getaway a romantic adventure can further enhance the benefits of the getaway. Engaging in adventurous activity can have the affect of drawing the couple closer together. Try finding an activity that is new to both of you and you will be able to bond while tackling new challenges and adventures. A romantic adventure may include exploring a new location, enjoying the outdoors or taking flight in a hot air balloon or glider. Whatever option you choose, a romantic adventure is sure to rejuvenate your relationship.

Travel can be a romantic and adventurous way for a couple to get away for the weekend and put some spark back into their relationship. Exploring new locations whether they are exotic or domestic allows a couple an opportunity to learn and discover together.

If you live relatively close to another country you may have the chance to visit another country for the weekend and learn about different cultures, foods and people. If exploring a new country is not possible, do not be deterred. Exploring a new city can be just as fun.

There may be many cities close by that you and your partner have either never visited or visited only briefly. Even spending a day or two in a new city can be an enlightening adventure.

If you truly immerse yourself in a nearby city and take the opportunity to visit local restaurants and shops you are bound to notice that although the city may be very near in proximity to your own city, it has its own vibe about it. The culture of a city is driven by its residents so visiting a new area is often a chance for you and your partner to enjoy a new adventure together. Travel, whether it is domestic or international is a wonderful opportunity for a couple to enjoy a romantic weekend adventure.

Enjoying the outdoors is another way for a couple to share a weekend romantic adventure. Taking a backpacking trip is an excellent way for a couple to reconnect. While spending a few nights in isolation in the wilderness without distractions such as televisions and restaurants a couple really has an opportunity to talk and catch up on their relationship. All too often a couple falls into a rut of eating out and then returning home to watch television and go to bed but a backpacking trip may be just what a couple needs to put the spark back in their relationship. Backpacking allows a couple the opportunity to work together to prepare their meals using simplistic equipment and to have only each other to occupy their time is an excellent weekend romantic adventure idea. While backpacking may be a simple activity, the adventuresome and romantic aspects exist making this activity and excellent weekend getaway activity for a couple.

Doing something completely new to both of you such as a hot air balloon or glider ride can also be an excellent weekend romantic adventure idea for a couple. These activities can often be done right in your own city and give you the opportunity to view your city from a completely different perspective. From a high elevation, you have the opportunity to look down on your city and realize how truly small it is. While you may spend your days running errands and scurrying from place to place, viewing your hometown from such a high elevation gives you a new perspective on things. Additionally, these activities can induce a sense of fear which may bring you and your partner together. While the activity may be completely safe, the fear of the unknown can have the affect of drawing you and your partner closer together. A hot air balloon or glider ride is one way for a couple to enjoy a weekend romantic adventure that doesn’t have to take up their entire weekend but will draw them closer together and will give them a new perspective on their approach to life.

The euphoria of getting married and having a blissful life together gets over soon for some of the couples. Why it gets over is a mystery, but it does. If you ask any couple about the possibility of this happening during the marriage, they will answer- impossible. We are so much in love together and our love will keep increasing. Nothing can ever happen to take our excitement away. The reality is that the excitement evaporates in some time. What after that?

As soon as the couple realizes that the euphoria is over, they should be alert to that. Because if they don’t handle this phase positively, the phase that may follow will be of mutual blames and disagreements.

As soon as you realize that the initial euphoric love is over, take notice and try to bring the romance back. The simplest way is to go into the past and remember the old days again. Think about the good times as much as possible. Slowly your memories will take over the present and you will get ideas about how to get the romance back.

The dating game can be frustrating, tricky, and is near impossible to master. The hours and days leading up to a first date are often a roller coaster of mixed emotions culminating in a few hours that more often than not-and please forgive the pessimism that follows-will end in disappointment.

Women tend to take a bad date to heart and ask themselves what she did wrong and why it was so miserable. So guys, this article is especially for you-now pay close attention, as the following is from a woman who knows all too well the devastating consequences of a bad date! Truly, it can crush a girl.

As you read the following dating essentials, feel free take notes, write it on the palm of your hand, or put this article in your pocket as you’re walking out the front door to meet her, as these first date musts may just be all you need to make her yours.

1. Be on time-no excuses!

Aside from the occasional metro-sexual male that may take more time to prep for a date than the typical girl, it is common knowledge that women take much more time getting ready for a social event than the male species, especially when it comes to going out with a man. We ladies will painfully and strategically pluck our eyebrows, meticulously put on mascara, eyeliner, foundation and eye shadow, obsess over which outfit is the perfect for the occasion, and so on and so forth. I could go on for hours.

When it takes us so long to get ready, and we try so hard to achieve that perfect look and never do, you will rarely hear a girl tell herself that she looks fabulous tonight. We tend to lean towards my jeans are too tight or my hair is so frizzy tonight there is nothing more frustrating than when your date leaves you waiting at the dinner table just to arrive in jeans and a polo. The simple act of making your date on time or even early will score you major brownie points with the girl.

2. It truly is the little things that count most

It sounds silly, but to a girl there is nothing more flattering than having the car door opened or when a man goes out of his way to make sure she doesn’t have to carry the popcorn or drinks. Small gestures are what we remember in the long run, and it will be the topic of conversation amongst the girls the next day during happy hour.

There is a small portion of our brain that remembers these thoughtful acts and it doesn’t matter how amazing the date went, when she lies in bed that night, she will be thinking about the sweet little gestures you did for her. Knowing that you went out of your way to buy her flowers or a teddy bear for the first meeting and still made your date on time will be on her mind for the rest of the night!

3. Make her laugh

This can be tricky at first if sense of humor is not your forte, but if you can master the art of making a girl laugh, it could be the key straight to her heart. There is nothing sexier than a man that is funny. Sharing a good laugh will undoubtedly ease the tension of the date, and the more she laughs, the more points you get! I guarantee if the laughter continues, she will not soon forget the night. There is literally no such thing as too funny, and she will be thinking about you as she giggles her giddy self to sleep that night!

If you keep these three important tips in mind on your first date, you can’t fail. Historically, when women are drinking their martinis, dwelling over a horrible first date with the girlfriends, it goes back to these three essential mistakes. He was either late which makes her feel unimportant, he didn’t make her feel special, or the date was dull.

If you can pull these three tips off, you are sure to have a fun and memorable first date together! Happy dating!

Single again? As we travel through life, we often end up single. There are many reasons why. It could be the result of meeting the wrong person, death, cheating, lies, divorce, location, goals, and more. Losing a relationship impacts us in many ways. It can be very painful, or it can be very refreshing, or anywhere in-between. No matter what the cause or the degree of pain, there is one truth we all share: We don’t want to end up alone. We want to find companionship.

In order to get into a new relationship, we have to be willing to meet and go out with people. It’s our own fear, however, that often gets in the way.

 We fear getting rejected.
 We fear having a bad time.
 We fear getting hurt.
 We fear having to reject someone else.

All these fears are valid yet easily overcome. If someone rejects you, it only means that that person feels you are not right for them. Believe me, there is someone else who would love to be with you. You have to accept rejection. It is only through trying do we get to the right person.

Many dates and relationships don’t work out. You may look back and think of it as a bad time. It is all right to have a bad time. Only through bad dates do we get to the good dates. It is through our bad relationships that we have the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and what we want, to then approach relationships with more knowledge to succeed.

No one wants to get hurt but if we do not dare to fall in love and get hurt, we cannot be in love. Getting hurt is part of the process. We do get through it and the pain does go away. The best part is there is new love waiting for you.

You may also be fearful of rejecting someone. The truth is no one is obligated to stay with someone who isn’t right for them. Rejection is part of the dating and relationship process.

Change how you look at rejection and see it as a favor. When you reject someone you are releasing him or her to go find someone who will truly appreciate that person. Look at it that way also when someone rejects you. After all, do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want you? It’s better to be free to find someone who actually wants to be with you.

Can you predict the future? I can’t. In fact, most of us don’t think we can. Yet we continue to believe in self-limiting thoughts about the future. We believe so firmly in these thoughts we allow them to stop us from moving forward and realizing opportunities.

Instead of predicting pain, I can predict for you that if you embrace the dating process instead of watching life pass you by, you will have both good and bad times. I can also predict that these good and bad times will lead you to even better times.

Embrace the journey and release your fear.

Author and Original Post By
Devlyn Steele

You never thought you’d have to date again, but here you are living life after divorce or the death of your partner. While you don’t want to be alone forever, you’re having a hard time believing you’ll be able to get past your loss so you can love again. And who can blame you? Yet despite the complex emotions that surround starting over, you can learn to love again. It just takes time and a little effort on your part.

Our team of experts identified common problems newly single people face and offered solutions to help you get back on the road to romance.

Problem: Living in the past. “Don’t sabotage your present and future by fixating on the past,” says Paul Davis, author of the book, Breakthrough for a Broken Heart. “Stop looking for closure concerning unresolved matters and instead simply let them be. Make a decision for your present and live victoriously.”
Solution: Replace anxiety with creativity. “Get back in the sandbox of life and start playing around with new ideas and concepts,” Davis says. “Challenge yourself.” Break out of your rut by doing new things, learning new sports, participating in new activities, taking up new hobbies and making new friends through bereavement and post-divorce support groups or your existing social network. “Let newness flood your life and awaken your love for self and surprises,” advises Davis. “As you do, you will attract new life and love to you.”

Problem: Rushing into dating. Some newly-single people don’t like being alone, so they rush into relationships before they’re ready. Or before they’re clear on what they want and need. “Although some people can date their way through this, the vast majority of us need to take time for ourselves,” says relationship expert Hu Fleming.
Solution: Look within yourself. “Focus on ‘me’ for a bit before considering ‘we’ again. When we’re comfortable with ourselves and who and what we are, we’re then again ready for the big bad dating world,” Fleming says. “In practical terms, spend time alone, spend time with friends. Do not date until you’re comfortable with yourself.” Don’t force yourself to date just because friends and family nag you to get back out there.

Problem: Pressuring yourself and your dates. “Culturally, a successful relationship is one that ends with marriage or a commitment of some sort,” says Kiki Weingarten, co-founder of Daily Life Consulting. But that can create a lot of pressure to succeed, which can cause you to fail. Dating is a numbers game, and not every date can lead to a long-term relationship.
Solution: Cut yourself — and your dates — some slack. “Enjoy the other person and enjoy who you are with the other person,” Weingarten notes. “If you don’t end up with that person, what new things did your time together bring to your life? What facet of yourself was discovered? What new future did you anticipate that you never had before?” You can use unsuccessful dates to help refine your viewpoint of what you definitely want to find in future dates, too.
Problem: Looking for what you had. “Often, as humans, we want what is familiar,” says Douglas Weiss, executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center and host of the TBN show Winning@Marriage. “To love again means you will be loved differently—and you will actually love differently. To compare two loves is like comparing two cities or countries. Although there may be some similarities, there will always be something amazingly different.”
Solution: Write a closing chapter about the past relationship, suggests Weiss. Write down what happened, how you felt, and what you learned. “Then write a hopeful chapter of what a new love could bring to your life. Again, talk to friends so that they can tell you if you’re doing comparison-shopping” versus taking a fresh and open look at the possibilities for future love.

Moving on is hard. But following these steps will help you honor the good memories and lessons from your previous relationship—and move past what was difficult. Then you can start putting your past in perspective and begin thinking about the next exciting chapter in your romantic life.

North Carolina-based freelancer Margot Carmichael Lester also writes for Go magazine and monster.com.

A=ALWAYS being there for one each other.
B=BEAUTIFUL words and feelings.
C=CRYING for love, happiness, not to lose each other.
D=DAY DREAMING of each other all the time.
E=EVERLASTING love is be our answer.
F=FOREVER is our future.
G=GENTLE touch, gentile words.
H=HOLDING someone as special as you.
I=INTIMATE feelings we have for each other.
J=JOY is our happiness of being together.
K=KIND and loving is our emotions.
L=LOYAL we are to each other.
M=MARRIED is how we want to be.
N=Our love is so NATURAL, so pure, so true.
O=Our love can OVERCOME anything.
P=PRINCESS that’s what I am to you.
Q=I sometimes QUESTION myself is this true or only a dream because its to good to be true.
R=We’re like ROMEO and Juliet.
S=SWEETHEART that’s what you are to me.
T=We TRUST each other in every way.
U=UNTIL I met you I was nothing.
V=I VALUE your presence each and every day.
W=WONDERFUL feelings we have for each other.
X=X-TREAMLY in love.
Y=There is no love deeper than the love I feel for YOU.
Z=Nothing for Z but for you to ZEE (see) how much I really love you.

My colleague, Ruth D. Kerce, shares her thoughts on 5 romantic things men can do and 5 romantic things women can do to show they care. Don’t just read, try at least one of these fabulous ideas today. Bet your honey will thank you for it (in more ways than one).

Romantic Ideas for Men:

1. Draw her a warm bubble bath. Wash her back (& everywhere else). Take your time. Then towel her dry and carry her off to bed.

2. Give her a full body massage without expecting anything in return. You’re sure to get your reward the next night!

3. Little things go a long way. Hold her hand, link her arm through yours while you’re walking together, place your palm on the small of her back when standing beside her. Those tender gestures won’t go unnoticed.

4. Brush her hair at night. This can be very sensual. Be sure to use a brush, not a comb. And don’t pull. Be gentle. If you encounter a tangle, hold the hair above the tangle, then work it out.

5. Tell her you love her. Seems obvious, but many men overlook this. Women like to hear it. Often. Make her an audio tape and secretly slip it into the cassette player for her to find.

Romantic Ideas for Women:

1. Do something different. Instead of a massage, graze your nails lightly down his bare back (if you have good nails). It will send shivers of pleasure through his body.

2. Let him pick one fantasy a month for you to fulfill. Make up a list for him to choose from (that way the fantasy will be something that you’re not opposed to). Then plan it out as an official “date.”

3. Have some sexy (but tasteful) pictures taken and give them to him as a gift. It’ll be something unexpected and special–meant for his eyes only.

4. Personally write him an erotic story. He’ll see a new and exciting dimension to you after that.

5. Put on some sexy clothes, turn on the music, then slowly strip the clothes off layer by layer while he watches.

So, you have cheated on your partner. You could not control yourself and you cheated on him/her. But you love your partner and you value your relationship above everything. You are worried that if you tell your partner about your cheating, the relationship will break down. But till you don’t tell your partner, your conscience is over weighed. You want to make a clean breast of everything, but are very much afraid that your relationship may break up. You are facing a dilemma. What should you do?

Lets look at the presumption that the relationship might break up if you reveal your cheating. Like you love your partner and value the relationship, so does your partner. No relationship can be one-sided. So we assume that both of you care for and love each other. Your partner may get hurt, but will he/she break up with you? That means that your partner could not tolerate a mistake and the relationship was not strong to begin with. Isn’t a mother forgiving? Why don’t you think that your partner will forgive you?

Let us come to the conscience part. Can you behave transparently and intimately with your partner after hiding something like cheating? No. That thought will keep on hammering your mind. You will never be at peace. This will surely affect your relationship and somehow manage to break it. If you are caught in such a situation, decide what you should do. Take a decision that gives you peace.

It is the exploration of what this might be that we do from now on in this seminar - and in life after the seminar! Its mystery and depth cannot be explained. Yet we all recognize its presence and its magic. It reveals itself through joy, which can even increase in adversity. We can learn to see ourselves as moving towards becoming able to express it ever more fully. We can learn the steps in developing this quality, which is still in the process of evolving or revealing itself.

Unconditional love is enlarging the self, and an act of will. It is not a feeling or an emotional reaction. Think of the difference between falling in love, and growing in love through all difficulties and conflicts. Unconditional love is an act of mental and spiritual will, it cannot and does not take place upon the emotional level, which is where the problems first register. Unconditional love is extending oneself in the service of the spiritual growth of oneself and/or another, independently of reward or the behavior of others.
To truly love in this way could include:

· To call forth a sense of responsibility, and a capacity to make wise choices.

· To point out weaknesses people have, - but very caringly so that the best in the person is drawn forth in response, rather than resistance.

· To challenge people to strive and attain, and discover their true selves..

· To help people work on their habits and weaknesses so that they become stronger. To show them how to use their will correctly.

· To help people learn to cooperate, and thus to overcome their little egos.

· To engage people in working for humanity.

· To teach people how to overcome their prejudices, resentments, separative tendencies, vanities, illusions, and other blocks to their own joy.

To truly love in this way does NOT mean:

· To surrender to weakness.

· To accept things that are harmful.

· To encourage weakness or irresponsibility.

· To accept dirt or ugliness in thought, feeling or action.

· To exploit or use people.

· To put people into sleep.

· To tolerate laziness.

Unconditional love causes you to see what has really caused a situation and to see through the outer appearances to the true needs or yourself and others, without criticism of yourself or others . It causes you to see the basic good in yourself and other(s).

Unconditionally loving people see their own errors and joyfully self-correct them .

They love themselves, others and the Source of Life, and therefore the whole of life. In particular, they are inclusive, and can maintain love and goodwill towards both the apparent “victim” and “oppressor” in a situation.

They seek to radiate their inner harmony and joy, peace and healing into any situation - without conditions or expectation of reward, and independently of the thoughts, feelings, and actions of others.

They are group conscious and do not react by immediately taking sides.

They serve the cause of peace and goodwill, and can often find ways to a fair solution of conflict that are not available to emotionally charged people. Gandhi taught the use of ahimsa and satyagraha, which is the willingness to cooperate harmlessly with the good intentions of the other for the true benefit of both.

The Forgiveness Process can be seen to be a process which moves us towards this goal of unconditional love.
By Dr. Guy Pettit